Awhile back they made a game out of the hard boiled two fisted John Wu hero named Detective Tequila, who when diving into fruit carts or sliding down ramps could enter Tequila time where for some strange reason and completely opposite of all my previous “Tequila times” he would move faster and everyone else would move slower. This allowed you to perform amazing dives and jumps and all those cool action movie effects you have seen in every movie ever since the Matrix. It also made the game move like molasses and sound like it was underwater the entire time thanks to the slow motion effects, but it was great fun sliding around and shooting bad guys in the face and groin.


Bethesda’s new action title WET is pretty much the same game, but instead of an elderly Asian man, you get a smoking hot chick to look at while she twists and flips around performing mobile, invisible stripper pole moves in slow motion while shooting multiple targets. When the little lady gets hurt, she simply grabs a bottle of booze and drowns away her pain, or as the rule in all modern games, standing still long enough will heal you. You also somehow gain health by shooting lots of people quickly, but that’s just another example of how this game throws away all signs of logic to give you a gritty, fun, and ultimately wonderfully pointless action game.


The game plays out like a 70’s action movie, complete Grind House feeling of style, over the top action, themed music and ironic humor. It feels like the fun parts of a Quentin Tarantino movie, when people are completing acts of stylish violence. Sure, it tries to shoot a little too for campy and fails at times, but overall this game is pure popcorn and rollercoaster fun.

Back to the earlier game I was talking about, Stranglehold, the adventures of Mr. Tequila had been exciting at the start, but quickly devolved into repetitive tasks and boring missions. WET pretty much removed all the tedious tasks and pointless missions that clogged that game down. I stopped playing Stranglehold when Mr Slow Motion had to run around a shanty town deactivating rogue ovens like some kind of ghetto Maytag man. You don’t get those stupid missions that some market team forced into the game to increase its “playability”. No, the people behind WET got it right, just pointless, fun, non stop action with cool characters and cool settings.


The lead character, Rubi Malone is voiced by the sultry and seductive Eliza Dushku, who spent her starting acting career running from scene to scene and getting all hot and bothered in Tru Calling. She sounds like she smokes two packs a day, but it just works for her. It is fun to see her playing a bad ass like Rubi, smoking, drinking, shooting and sliding around pools of blood. The plot is worth watching, but you don’t need to pay attention to enjoy the funny bits, a welcomed changed to un-skipable cutscenes with high school level writing.


WET is a fun, slick and silly action romp with sexy characters, vivid environments, humorous touches and great variety. A leveling system keeps the action new and rewards players for performing well, often with sexy new gun slinging stripper moves for Rubi and hand to hand combat is done well with swords and acrobatics. It is a rollercoaster however and the fun has to end at some point, but this one is worth at least one ride.

Last 5 posts by Brian Jones



Categories: Featured, Games, Reviews

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