Baby Giraffes are born from the depths of Hack the Music message board apathy and midwest boredom. Like chronically lactating lazer zombies, zapping their nipple lazers in all directions without any regard for human life or decency, they spread their message of love and peace. LOVE AND PEACE.

Although definitely taking some cues from Uncle Outrage, Vyncent Flaw, and of course, MC Chris, Baby Giraffes still manage to bring something new to the table with their mega catchy blend of electro “bubblegum rap”. “FUCKING SUCKS” is their first official release, and available for the low cost of $4 on their Bandcamp page. Also, you can stalk them on twitter. You know you want to.

I briefly interviewed these outspoken young whipper snappers on AIM:

[tlr]: Please introduce yourselves.

Timothy: I need no introductions.

Edward: I do however. I am Edward. I make the beats and sing some of the vocals. Timothy is being stubborn. But he pretends to make beats and likes to scream into the mic with no regard for technique.

[tlr]: Cool… How long have you two been writing music together?

Timothy: For eternity.

Edward: I don’t even remember.

Timothy: For Emma, forever ago, since before Bon Iver at least.

Edward: Pre-Pat Swayze death.

[tlr]: How would you describe your music?

Timothy: I would describe it well if I chose to describe it. But, I choose not to; and in choosing not to describe it, I feel that I am subconsciously describing it quite well. In terms of; the music speaks for itself. You know?

Edward: That makes no sense. Stop saying things. We make rappish shit… with beeps and blips. Video game sounds, like any shitty Mindless Self Indulgence rip off would do. Except that we aren’t shitty.

Timothy: Have you ever seen 2001: A Space Odyssey? Our film is a lot like a Kubric film, only better. In terms of audio.

Edward: Like if Rob Kleiner did the score.

[tlr]: If you could play a show with anyone, who would you want to play with?

Timothy: I would want to play a show with the late great B. B. King. I feel our separate takes on African American style and culture would be a good juxtaposition. Like a Hitler biography directed by Stalin.

Edward: John Stamos if he was a musician. His pompadour combined with his boyish good looks are one hell of a instrument.

Timothy: John Stamos WAS a musician. He was in Jesse and the Rippers.

Edward: Oh shit, you’re right. Yeah. Jesse and the Rippers. That’s our ultimate show, mate.

Timothy: I would want to open for Eddie Murphy to be honest. Eddie Murphy is both funny and profane.

Edward: Uncle Outrage too.

[tlr]: You guy’s reference historic figures a lot in your lyrics and imagery. Why the obsession with Americana?

Timothy: I once watched the film American History X in History class, on the historic date, September 11th, 2009.

Edward: I’m just a worldly dude.

[tlr]: So in no way do you feel Ben Franklin and Fredrick Douglas relate to you two specifically?

Edward: I’ve always been obsessed with Frederick Douglass. I legitimately believe he was a extraordinary person.

Timothy: You spelled legitimately wrong.

Edward: You spelled your life wrong.

Timothy: See, that’s the problem with Frederick Douglass. He was an illiterate asshole who asked for everything

be handed to him on a silver platter, and then when he got that silver platter, he started deejaying parties. And where is he now? Dead like all the rest. But Benjamin Franklin is eternal. He invented the light bulb. Where would you be without a light bulb? You’d be alone in the dark.

Edward: Some people might try to tell you Edison invented the light bulb, but those people never listened to our music.

[tlr]: If you had one sentence of advice to give the world, what would it be?

Edward: My advice would be to take a picture of yourself every day for three years. You can see yourself grow and be a big whore on Youtube.

Timothy: In this world there are only two kinds of people. The blacks and the whites. In my opinion you should try your best to be both as often as possible.

Last 5 posts by Taylor Shechet

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Categories: Music Reviews


10 Responses so far.


  1. Thanks a ton for the coverage Flash Flood and TLR! <333

  2. Marla Page says:

    Baby Giraffes
    Changed
    My life.

  3. Fredrick Douglas says:

    Hey fuck you edward

  4. DZ says:

    i’m going to write a baby giraffes fanfic. just watch.

  5. Wonderful, that’s just what I was scanning for! You just saved me alot of work

  6. This really answered my problem, thank you!

  7. Jeffrey =D says:

    Baby giraffies and uncle outage i would die to see >.<

  8. ps vita says:

    ps vita…

    [...]Baby Giraffes – FUCKING SUCKS (2010) | Flash Flood Media[...]…

  9. movies says:

    movies…

    [...]Baby Giraffes – FUCKING SUCKS (2010) | Flash Flood Media[...]…

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